


Professor, I Have a Question

by Anonymous



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: A lot of them - Freeform, Ask Severus Snape, Cynical, Dunderhead, Empathy, Falling In Love, Frustrated Severus Snape, Fun, Funny, Gen, Humor, Implied/Referenced Bullied, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Philosophize, Sarcasm, Stupid Answers, Sympathy, To pry past, Vicious Severus Snape, stupid, stupid questions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-03-10 04:27:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18931258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Professor!There's this girl. She behaves strangely. Until two weeks ago everything was great, we hated each other properly. But since then she has begun to act differently, each time we see each other, she lowers her head and plays with a team of split and shuddering hair, all this while she blinks her eyes and purses her lips. But worst of all, the fact that she had stopped responding to all the insults I had sent her down the corridor....Professor Snape,There is one teacher I dream about nights and days, I can not stop thinking about him. The way he goes, the rare and attractive personality, the black sense of humor and the venomous cynicism that makes my heart beat at a crazy pace. I just want to spend every day with him, make him smile that mocking and captivating smile and hear his deep, beautiful voice....Snape,It is known that you had a long and painful history with the Marauders. But it's time to find out, who do you hate more? James Potter or Sirius Black?____In which, Dumbledore forces Snape to open a section of advice and answer to the questions.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I recently read a lot of stories about "Ask Severus Snape" and decided that I wanted to try one too.
> 
> I'm neither own Harry Potter nor the idea.

Professor Snape,

Did you wash your hair during the past month? It seemed more filthy with each passing day.

 

Signed,

HygieneIsImportant.

-

Dear Iguana,

I find that my private habits do not concern you in any way.  
As for the question, I did wash it.  
And now, I would advise you to repeat the material in the potions, maybe you have the possibility of a repeat test, but believe me, it is definitely one-time, even the principal will not help you next time.  
50 points from Gryffindor.

 

Sincerely,

Professor Snape.

-

Professor Snape,

If I ate an apple and swallowed the kernel, what would happen to me?

 

Signed,

Smart Gryffindor.

-

Especially smart Gryffindor,

You will grow a tree in your stomach and after two weeks it will burst up your throat and you can join to Nearly Headless Nick.  
Ten points from Gryffindor for the stupid question.

 

Sincerely,

Professor Snape.

-

Professor Snape,

I try to explain to my house mates that dolphin is an animagus of the sea dragon with mermaid fins. No one will listen.

 

Signed,

Open Mind.

-

Miss Lovegood,

The golden sea dragons are a species extinct many years ago. Also, they had never had anything in common, either inside or outside, with the mermaids.

 

Sincerely,

Professor Snape.

P.S. If you keep an open mind, the brain may fall.  
P.P.S I forgot who I'm talking to. There's no threat for you.

-

Professor!

There's this girl. She behaves strangely. Until two weeks ago everything was great, we hated each other properly. But since then she has begun to act differently, each time we see each other, she lowers her head and plays with a team of split and shuddering hair, all this while she blinks her eyes and purses her lips. But worst of all, the fact that she had stopped responding to all the insults I had sent her down the corridor.

 

Signed,

The most precious snake.

-

Draco,

I believe Miss Weasley is under a love potion. Perhaps this will teach you not to pry around my office closets in the future.

 

Sincerely,

Professor Snape.

-

Professor Snape,

Are you emo or gothic? My friend says you're emo, because of the pale skin and the hair, but I always thought you were gothic, with long and elegant clothes. But last night somebody told us you were a vampire, I began to think she was right.

 

Signed,

Curious by nature.

-

Dear Curious,

As for the content of the question, this is the most surprising information you can actually to think. The question is only with what exactly.

I'm neither emo nor gothic. As for the vampire, I would recommend you to read less of a Muggle fantasy.  
20 points from Hufflepuff.

 

Sincerely,

Professor Snape.

-

Professor Snape,

I'm so glad that Dumbledore forced you to run this section, it's been a long time since I wanted to write to you.

I asked myself why you are behaving nasty on a regular basis. I assumed that this was a situation that had been caused by years of indignation and an attempt to disguise a desperately desperate pain, but I could not go down to detail at that time.  
Now that your biography is known to the public, I have gathered the missing details from the memoirs you gave to Harry Potter.

To hurt others, to humiliate, to harass, to treat them like garbage under your boots... but also, never to hurt anyone physically and be beside the light for years no one knows how much you sacrifice. Both things can only prove that you do not see any other way to behave towards others. That sarcastic humor is your shield against world vulnerability.

I suppose the marauders helped it develop, but the base was there before. Was this a child who had been humiliated and victimized by bullying and abuse throughout his childhood?

 

Signed,

InsideOut.

-

Miss GetOut of the vein,

I do not share your joy for a moment.

My memories were certainly not supposed to be published as wildfire, I would have a clear conversation about this with Potter.

My childhood already belongs to the past. Indeed, I grew up in poverty and hardship in many ways, but tell me, know-it-all, why do not you think of the simple possibility that I treat you like that, because I like to do it?

 

Sincerely,

Professor Snape.


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Professor Snape,

When I first prepared to come to Hogwarts I was excited to learn everything that I could about Magic. However, that quickly changed as in one class in particular the Professor seemed to hate me on sight. It's sad really as that was one of the classes I had looked forward to the most. What can I do to improve and maybe make the Professor hate me less?

I really do want to do well.

Sincerely,

Help.

.

Mr. Help,

I would suggest that you be less dunderhead, which makes it easier for people to carry your presence. To your regret, not everyone is willing to bow down to any unruly lion, no matter how celebrity he is.

Sincerely,

Professor Snape.

.

At the Gryffindor table, Ron Weasley leaned toward Harry Potter and whispered, "But how does he know?"

Harry looked up from the newspaper and sighed, "And when I finally hoped to get an answer..." he mumbled despondently.

.

Dear Severus,

Since InsideOut has written her letter, it does not give me peace. I keep thinking about her words and I understand that they are perfectly correct.

I just can not see you as the evil professor you've always been. Every time I look at you, I see a man who is broken and vulnerable, sensitive to the point of pain, who only tries to disguise his vulnerability in a mask.

Sincerely,

1#Sev Support Club.

.

...Club,

First, I have to be referred to as a professor or a sir, and I do not remember having approved to switch to private names.

I am very sorry, but this is your private problem. Your theories have no basis and logic.

Ten points from the Ravenclaw and ten more points from Gryffindor for the publication of the stupid theory.

Sincerely,

Professor Snape.

.

A student of Ravenclaw threw her friend up. "You did not think he would thank you for that, did you?"

The other girl shrugged and met Hermione's gaze across the dining room. "It doesn't matter, he can't change my mind any more." She said with a smug smile.

.

Professor Snape,

Your loyalty was about the most confusing thing in the entire war. Can you make it clear once and for all, on which side you were from the beginning? Are you replacing masters? Who was your loyalty from the beginning?

Curiously,

Waiting all my life.

.

Waiting too much time,

Lily.

Sincerely,

Professor Snape.

.

Severus,

People say you have to set goals for yourself and invest in reaching them. For some reason, they say it gives you satisfaction to do something you love. Since the war is over, I wonder about it. What should I do?

Signed,

Thoughtful soul.

.

Lucius,

Open a beauty salon and spa.

Sincerely,

Professor Snape.

.

Snape,

It is known that you had a long and painful history with the Marauders. But it's time to find out, who do you hate more? James Potter or Sirius Black?

Signed,

Curious.

.

Curious,

If you know the history, you should be well aware of the answer.

I can not stand any of them.

Sincerely,

Professor Snape.

.

"That's an unfair answer at all." The call came from Gryffindor and was immediately silenced by other students who began to discuss the matter.

.

Professor Snape,

There is one teacher I dream about nights and days, I can not stop thinking about him. The way he goes, the rare and attractive personality, the black sense of humor and the venomous cynicism that makes my heart beat at a crazy pace. I just want to spend every day with him, make him smile that mocking and captivating smile and hear his deep, beautiful voice.

But he's so cold and hates everyone, he hardly ever spends time talking to people, and when it does, he's always sulking.

How can I conquer his heart? What would you suggest me do?

Sincerely,

Love-stricken.

.

Love-stricken,

Your sickening description deprived your house of twenty points.

As for the questions:

Question one - no possibility. Go and deal with love matters close to your age.

Question two - I would suggest you do your homework, now it is clear why your potions rates are so far behind.

Sincerely,

Professor Snape.

.

The group of Hufflepuffs from love-stricken friends stared fixedly at their house mate. Though the girl ignored her friends and only stared at the teachers' table, sighing dreamily.

.

Professor,

I'm fed up with the discrimination that the headmaster is doing among the students. What would you advise to do to treat us like the students he loves?

Signed,

Wondering.

.

Dear Wondering,

Lemon drops. If there is a way into the heart of the old man, it is only through the loathsome candy.

Unless you are referring to the Gryffindors, then leave your plan. Nothing would make him drive the other houses like the lions.

Sincerely,

Professor Snape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone.
> 
> I decided to try adding a few sentences to the characters between the questions, what do you think, should continue, or concentrate only on questions?
> 
> Beyond that, thank you very much for those who responded, comments is the most encouraging thing there is! Thanks also to Tyler'sPrincess who sent a question to the story!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Please respond and send questions!


	3. Note

Sorry guys, not a chapter.

I just wanted to say that I wondering what to do with this fic.  
I thought to update it about twice a week, but I don't have ideas for more questions and the like. 

I'm really happy that the fic was well received in Fanfiction.net, it's a little sad that in AO3 it is not like that. 

In any case, thanks to everyone who responded and asked questions. Unfortunately, I am not sure I will continue the fic, because I have no more material for this specific work. 

I have a few more serious stories that I'm focusing on, but I'm also willing to try to keep it going, if there's a demand. 

Please tell me what you think and if you have any questions you would like to refer to Professor Snape, it will help even more. 

 

Thank you and have a good day.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like it!
> 
> Please forgive me for all the mistakes I have, I do not speak English and I use a lot of Google translate.
> 
> I think of updating this story quickly, if there is a demand, of course.
> 
> Please, anyone who can think of questions to refer to Snape, I would be very happy to include them in the next chapters!


End file.
